The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game
Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex
Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!!
Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink
Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest
(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)
Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals
Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH!
Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche
Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all
Guy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore
Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?!
Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!!
Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…
(the family is disintegrating)
Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….
[People saying ‘cheers’]
(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)
Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food.
Katy: Dude omg
Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana!
Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks.
Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.
(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)
Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side
Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy
Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE
Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew
Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member
Brandon: [random fumbling noises]
Katy: brandon omg ew
Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016
Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED
Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much
Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN
Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot
Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew
Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.
This is spectacular.