niel cicerciga is a more influential artist than 99% of contemporary art

art historians can fight me on this





if you take the muffler off your car or motorcycle… just… fuck you

great way to scream out to the world “i am annoying!!! i’m really annoying and i don’t care about other people!!!!”

my dad was an auto mechanic and he once sneaked over in the dead of night and welded a fresh muffler onto the mazda of the local Sound Bully

your dad was a hero




why is it when you go to a hair salon as a transmasc/nb person and go “i want something very short and simple. masculine. here’s a photo of a man. that’s how i want my hair to look.” without fail your middle aged hairdresser is like “yes. right. i know exactly what you’re looking for. let me just ….. snip snip” and you come out of there like 2007 kate gosselin

Ok so: I’m cis female but had this problem, in that I could never get them to cut my hair short enough. I eventually found ways to get them to cooperate though – and this was with hair I was sporting from 15-23, so you can probably get them to take you seriously. Keep in mind, though, that a lot of these tips will involve recognizing that you’ve already been misgendered and voluntarily running with that.

  • First of all, just go to a barbershop instead of a hair salon, if you can. It’s cheaper anyway, and you’re far more likely to get what you want from either a place where every employee has ten tattoos minimum, or from someone who’s mis-aging you not misgendering you
  • Barring that, e.g. If there’s only one shop nearby or your parents control where you go, pick the stylist with the wildest hair or most tattoos
  • If you can do so, make yourself sound like a huge lesbian the whole time. I could never get a middle aged white woman to actually take clippers my head if I hadn’t already talked about my (usually imaginary) girlfriend
  • If you like having your hair clipped/shaved, find out what numbers they use on you next time someone does it right, then tell everyone moving forward. Some still won’t believe you, but saying “I want a 2 into a 5” was always a lot more effective than “I want it shaved up”
  • Don’t tell them it’s fine until it is. I know this is something we’re socialized into accepting but this is true regardless of who you are and what hair cut you’re getting. If you’re not satisfied, say so. So what if they get annoyed? They’re not doing their job right. You’re paying for a service, you deserve it done the way you want.
  • On a related note, bribery will get you everywhere. If you live in a place where tipping is normal, and you can afford it, then come prepared with extra cash. If they do it right without you complaining, tip them well and say “hey, you’re the only stylist who’s actually listened, thank you.” If they need more convincing – especially if your parents are the ones paying and you know they’re trying not to piss them off – pull out a $10 or so and go “look, seriously, I will tip you extra if you just cut it boy-short”. It motivated a few ladies for me, when it was an option.
  • If all else fails, make up a reason you need it that short. You’re playing a character in the school play. You want to piss off your parents/ex/sister. Protest. “My friend has cancer and I want to make her feel less alone”. Yeah, lying sucks, but sometimes you gotta.

Hope that helps!!

Don’t tell them it’s fine until it is

As a real life stylist I cannot stress this enough. This is the most important part of the cut because if you’re smiling in the chair and crying at home it means I’m not doing my job.

And I also second the barber shop for the first haircut because once you come in with short hair and tell a stylist you want it shaved back down the majority of them won’t hesitate.

Hope this helps anyone who needs it. 🙂


I just got back from seeing Love Simon, and at the beginning of the Movie the projector stopped working and we had to wait a while for them to fix it. So this older woman who works there started distributing free tickets to go see a film as compensation. So she hands one to this girl and smiles and says “a lovely girl like you, you could use this with a boyfriend” and there was this unanimous gay pause across the audience and you could tell that every fucKing person was looking into a metaphorical camera like they were on the office.

















Yes, come on in!


Yes, yes, come in to my cabin, watch your step please.

You Have A Lovely Hombe

Thank you, Horace. Sit, make yourself at hombe. Or would you like to play a game of Billiards in my special room over here?

Oh I Just Love To Play Balls

We’ll get along splendidly, then.

Some wine?

Oh Enough Chit-Chat And Lets Talk Creams.

Go on.

Well I Just Love Creams. Well They Taste Good. And. Oh The Texture An-


Smells Of Steel.

*All pretense and friendly affect is dropped, eyes fixing coldly on the boar*


Well I Simply Knew All A Long

*And Horace Delivers A Series Of Funny Kicks And Rageful SMACKS To The Assailant’s Solar Plexus And Hip Bones*


Hm Hm Hm That Aought To Teach You Scoundrel

*Horace Turns His Handsome Snout To Face YOU*

Rememboar: Dont Go In A Strangor’s House Or Something I Forget

the most coherent incoherent RP I have ever witnessed on this site