Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.

(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)

Merry: call me a Took one more time

Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took

Merry: I will END you

Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled

Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.

Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that

Frodo: I said what I said.

Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile

Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly

Frodo: quite.

Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.

Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.

Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square

Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile

Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…

Merry: ABSOLUTE not

Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you

Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins

Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…