i have successfully reheated a pizza i am the master of the culinary arts
oh my god i just discovered a site where you can by bulk candy by color/flavor
you can buy two pounds of exclusively pink starbursts
you can buy endless red skittles
i never thought i’d see heaven
worst thing is when i have dust on my eyelashes but it looks like dirt on my glasses so i take off my glasses to clean it off but then i put them back on and IT’S STILL THERE
I think that the whole slimy interior of the Slytherin dormitory is probably an illusion charm cast in case intruders enter the dormitory. Only if you’re sorted in Slytherin or a close friend of a Slytherin you can see the luxurious silver lined couches with soft green plaids to snuggle under and forest green tapestries and the fountain in the middle with the clearest water that tastes like whatever you want when you fill your glasses.
fun things to imagine any of your favorite characters saying
- “nyoom”
- “you’re about to experience the wrath of a god”
- “you’re about to experience the wrath of a god” (in their best mickey mouse voice)
ah man even thinking about it has gotten me all freaked out
my english teacher seems to have a fundamental misunderstanding of why people are afraid of orals
her solution is apparently to force everyone to pay attention + make someone else make a thank you speech where they have to say what they liked about your oral
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.
Bonus points: Tell them you think it’s cute when they get so angry.
I want to note that the way the sex binary looks like it’s present throughout the animal world is that white scientists have a terrible habit of labeling everything “male” or “female” even when it makes no sense.
Like, by any reasonable metric, bees have three sexes: drone, queen, and worker. Workers are only labelled female because someone couldn’t abide the idea of something not being either one or the other.
And before someone calls “genetics” there are many species where both sexes have the exact same genetics, and even many where individuals can change reproductive capacity at will, and scientists suddenly have no problem calling the ones who grow eggs “female” even though they were “male” two weeks ago.
Some species of mammals reproduce asexually. They have only one sex. It is still called “female” because it makes babies even though one might reasonably ask why even make the distinction when every single individual makes babies just the same.