what i learned today while tallying homestuck statistics:

theenglishmanwithallthebananas:

theenglishmanwithallthebananas:

Dave has no idea how to end a conversation. I mean, I knew he just never shut the fuck up, but i’m trying to tally the number of conversations and in acts 1-4, and dave has had like, 8, total. cause whenever someone else says goodbye he just keeps talking at them until they eventually come back instead of actually signing out of pesterchum like a normal person

my favorite part of this is how he’s literally exactly the same in real life conversations too. like in openbound pretty much everyone just sort of wanders away during conversations with him and he. just. keeps. going. and then in the finale karkat pretty much confirms that that’s a daily thing with him. Dave is just completely incapable of actually ending conversations and i love him.

sedorna:

Steven Quartz Universe has one major flaw that I hope the show addresses sooner rather than later. If he likes you, he’ll do anything for you. If he doesn’t like you, too bad for you.

In Beach City Drift it was revealed that Steven hated Kevin because Kevin was a jerk to Stevonnie. His hatred and anger was so great that he was willing to fuse with Connie just to get revenge.

And then we have Restaurant Wars. He basically forces Ronaldo into pretending to date Kiki, ignoring all of Ronaldo’s protests, including Ronaldo’s confession that he has a girlfriend. And when Ronaldo’s girlfriend does appear, and the misunderstanding causes them to break up, Steven shows no regret whatsoever. He doesn’t even look the least bit sad or regretful. I think it’s because Steven doesn’t really like Ronaldo all that much. Ronaldo has been loud and pushy, and tried to dissect the watermelon Steven, and tried to throw Lars into a house. Steven likes his watermelons, and Lars is his bff. So Steven has negative feelings towards Ronaldo, which show in him not really caring too much about Ronaldo’s happiness.

And now we have Alone at Sea. I was very disappointed in Steven during this episode. Lapis was trying to confess that she wasn’t perfect, that she had done bad things, but Steven refused to believe or even listen to her. And as soon as Jasper appeared, Steven outright called her a bad person. The possibility that Jasper might have suffered through her ordeal meant absolutely nothing to him. Jasper was big, loud, pushy, and that apparently meant that she was evil. Steven was not willing to admit that his friend might have done something wrong.

I really, really, really want somebody to let Steven know some of the less than savory things that the Crystal Gems did during the War. Something more than Greg’s “no such thing as a good war, kiddo.” Because right now he has a very black and white view of things, of good vs evil, and as long as he’s unwilling to admit that his friends aren’t entirely good, he’ll also remain unwilling to admit that his “enemies” aren’t a hundred percent evil. He’ll continue to dehumanize them, which is not a good thing.

hotmenandotherdistractions:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game

Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex
Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!!
Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink

Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest

(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)

Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals
Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH!
Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche
Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all

Guy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore
[Pause]
Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?!
Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!!
[Pause]
Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…

(the family is disintegrating)

Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….

[People saying ‘cheers’]

(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)

Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food.
[Pause]
Andrew: Dude
Brandon: Dude
Katy: Dude omg
Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana!
Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks.
Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.

(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)

#TeamEster
#BananaSplits

Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side
#TeamEster #TeamKink

Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy
Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE
Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking

Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member
Brandon: [random fumbling noises]
Katy: brandon omg ew
Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016
Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED
Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much
Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN
Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot
Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon

Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.

#BananaCreamPie
#GamesOverKids
#TeamEster

This is spectacular.