thebrassyopeningtoirresistible:

a list of aus for when your otp is really competitive 

• we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
• we kind of got past the point of ‘taking this game of gay chicken too seriously’ when you took your pants off but I really do not mind at all. 
• I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
• a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
• you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my – wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
• we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
• did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker