Hussie should just do a full-on Homestuck dating sim.
You approach Eridan Ampora in the school cafeteria. > Engage in conversation > Flee >Give him a wedgie (blackrom) >Give him a wedgie (platonic)
You engage him in conversation. Unfortunately, you have nothing in common, no mutual friends, and no reason to speak to him at all! > End conversation > Introduce yourself > Discuss the weather > Make out with him
Er…perhaps you didn’t hear me. You have NOTHING IN COMMON, NO MUTUAL FRIENDS, and NO REASON TO SPEAK TO HIM AT ALL, much less make out with him. > Flee > Make out with him anyway
Not even going to introduce yourself first? Seriously, you’ve been playing this game for thirty seconds. It’s your first day at a new school, and you’re gonna walk up to the first troll kid you see and smooch them? > Yes > Weep with shame
i know we like, hate dumbledore, but also can we agree that he’s an icon:
gay, reclusive, weird, loves candy, best friends with a bird, wears a lot of purple, makes bad decisions
“rose beats everyone at scrabble” is still one of my favorite headcanons
rose, in a sports anime antagonist voice: i would seem congratulations are in order, dirk. as it stands, we each have only five tiles left, and i’m only ten points ahead of you. i’m sure you’ve figured out through process of elimination that the missing “q” and “x” tiles are in my hand, and if the game ends while i still have them, they’ll be subtracted from my final score, ensuring your victory. however, things are not always as they seem….. you, see, you made a miscalculation. four turns ago when you placed “tic” just adjacent to the final available triple word score space, rendering it seemingly unusable, i’m sure you counted it as a strategic victory- little did you know you were ensuring your own defeat.
dirk, with an expression of dawning realization: impossible!
rose places “quixotic” on the final triple word score, winning the game. the gathered spectators collectively lose their shit.
