When my godsister and I were kids, her parents got this wolf-shaped cookie jar that howled whenever the lid was opened to prevent her sneaking her hand in and stealing cookies.
I couldn’t wrap my head around why they got that cookie jar in the first place. Sneaking just wasn’t her style. It was my style – I’d wait for the perfect opportunity to strike, create a diversion, plot three excuses in case I got caught, and attempt to calculate the maximum number of cookies I could steal at one time without rousing suspicion and where I could store them safely until I was ready to eat them.
My godsister, on the other hand, was the sort to walk up to the cookie jar, shove her hand in, and stuff her face while staring at you defiantly, as if challenging you to stop her. What are you going to do? The cookies are already in her mouth. They’re hers now. She’s won.
I guess it’s no surprise that she became a pro kickboxer and Muay Thai champion.
Holy shit
how do you know the jar wasn’t meant to stop you instead of her?
‘Cause I never got caught.
Fight her and post it to tumblr it will be funny
You want to see me utterly pulverized? No way dude. I’ve been on the wrong end of her “affectionate” punches even before she learned to fight for real and it was not fun. I don’t want to find out how much she’s improved.
a fun way to start the day is by getting a call from a robot pretending to be a human
when telemarketer robots are attempting to sound human and ask you questions, it is because they are trying to get you to say “yes.” They take that recording of your “yes” and attempted to steal your card with it by calling your bank and using your voice for a new card
[wakes up] [clown vanishes] aaaahhh that was a nice rest. i slept like a baby all night. time to start the day [gets up] [takes a shower and brushes teeth] [gets dressed] [goes about my day taking care of business] [comes home] fwoo i’m tired. it’s time for a hard-earned night’s rest. [lies down] [falls asleep] [evil clown materializes in my room and watches me sleep all night]
no text post has ever started better than “[wakes up] [clown vanishes]” I’m hooked into the story I want to know more about this world
