There was a “lactation/quiet room” sign on the door and the room had been reserved for that purpose on the company calendar. So Hannah was surprised when she walked in to discover a male co-worker using the lactation room for a phone call.
“I had to stand there with my sore, full boobs and explain to this dude who was mad at me for interrupting him that I needed the room to express milk to feed my kid later,” said Hannah, who works at a public health policy not-for-profit.
Her story is far from unusual. Travis Kalanick, the embattled CEO of Uber, it was revealed this week, uses his company’s lactation room to meditate.
“I have walked in on an exec having sex with an intern in the lactation room,” said one women working in tech.
A third woman, who worked for what she described as a well-funded food startup with a social justice mission, said that her CEO regularly used the lactation room to make phone calls or take naps.
“I had to wake him numerous times, which was humiliating,” she said. “Once he told me: ‘I need another 15 minutes.’”
While the CEO would laugh about his behavior, approaching her later to say “Don’t hate me!” or “I owe you one!”, the woman said that his actions had a serious impact on her ability to continue breastfeeding her second child.
“I didn’t pump very long after I went back [to work]. I actually just couldn’t produce enough for my baby, and I know it was because of the stress because I never had that issue with my first,” she said. “I am sad I won’t ever get that back.”
A facilities manager for an advertising company changed the signage on the lactation room from “privacy room” to “mothering room” because, he said: “A guy wouldn’t stop using it to place long angry phone calls hammering out his ugly divorce/custody battle.”
Frustratingly to the manager, the company actually had designated rooms for placing phone calls. “The lactation room was just closer to his desk,” he said.
Male entitlement in action
And can you imagine the rage and horror of these men if women just said “fuck it” and started breastfeeding/pumping at their desk or anywhere.
“well my desk is closer than the lactation room”
the men would completely unravel, and likely at no point would they stop and think “maybe I shouldn’t have used this space set aside for lactating women to fuck my intern”
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everyone go watch super mario bros maker on polygon right now
so I was just minding my own business working on a post archiver when I figured I’d pull down my list of followers.
if my hunch is correct, then it appears the longer you have a tumblr, the more FLAGRANTLY WRONG your reported follower count is.
come with me on a journey of software incompetence.
Tumblr says that I have 474 followers:
however, a weird thing happened when I started pulling them down via the Tumblr API
(an API is a special “side door” that companies like Tumblr, Facebook, etc., can create for programmers to build apps using their functionality. they provide documentation and access instructions, and programmers can follow them to “use” Tumblr through a programming language instead of the official apps and websites.)
I wouldn’t have noticed the weird thing, except I’m rather fastidious about data integrity, so I had my database configured with something called a unique primary key constraint, which means it will stop everything and scream loudly if there was any unexpected duplication of data.
(most web programmers follow the convention of whatever toolset they’re using; for example, the wildly popular web framework, Ruby on Rails, runs with no data integrity checks whatsoever.)
APIs are organized into pieces called endpoints, or methods. you can see in the docs for the “followers” endpoint that you can only request 20 at a time.
strangely, I was receiving the same followers multiple times! I updated my code to detect duplicate followers, print a message, and skip them. when I ran it again, I saw that I was receiving so many duplicates that sometimes I would receive an entire page of them.
once the process was finished, I connected directly to my database and queried the amount of (unique) followers it had saved:
361?
“that’s crazy”, I thought. “no way is Tumblr reporting over 100 nonexistant followers. that’s a completely egregious error on one of the core features of the site!”
so I stubbornly went to Tumblr and manually paged through my list of followers to see if they matched up by querying my database on the side and comparing the lists:
that’s Page 1. if you look at the query I used:
select name from followers order by rowid limit 40 offset 0;
“limit” is how many followers to view, and “offset” is how many followers to skip. indeed, there were 40 followers on the first page, mostly from the burst of attention my blog got when my “She and Her Cat: Everything Flows” post went viral.
I assumed that I would be able to just scroll down, verify that everything matched, hit “Next Page” on Tumblr, and add 40 to my offset. that is, I assumed that Tumblr would show me 40 followers per page. instead, these are the limits and offsets I had to use to exactly duplicate what Tumblr showed me:
40 (0)
40 (40)
40 (80)
40 (120)
24 (160)
21 (184)
9 (205)
25 (214)
23 (239)
32 (262)
35 (294)
32 (329)
that’s 12 pages of followers. but only the first four pages displayed 40. and if you add up all of those limits (the non-parenthesized numbers, that is, how many followers I saw on each page), you come up with… you guessed it:
361.
in other words, Tumblr displays my follower account as 474, but it only showed me 361 followers.
So… what’s going on?!?
Well, we can make a few observations about the follower counts per page displayed on Tumblr itself:
we got four pages of 40 followers each, then things started getting dicey.
the maximum followers per page was 40
the minimum was 9
additionally, it’s worth noting that I received a burst of a little over 100 new followers as a result of that viral post.
so right now, my hunch is this: when an account following you is deleted (whether because it turned out to be spam or because it was removed by the owner), it’s removed from your follower list, but your follower count never decreases.
I’ll talk about why things would work this way in a minute, but first, let’s run an experiment to test my theory. this won’t prove anything for sure, since the behavior might change based on timespan (minutes vs. weeks), but let’s give it a shot anyway.
first, I used an Incognito Window to create a new account so I can easily swap back and forth between them.
second, I doublechecked my currently-reported follower count, which is now 475, since I got a follower in the time it’s taken to write this post
(coincidentally that follower is @yourhighnessisspeaking, who appears to be a databasey-programmery-type… hi there you! unlike the droves of hapless folks who followed me based on the anime post, this one is hopefully right up your alley!)
third, I followed this blog with my new one.
fourth, I verified that my follower count increased and the new blog appears in my list of reported followers:
fifth, I deleted my new blog:
sixth, I refreshed my follower page:
oh, gosh.
MYTH CONFIRMED!
my follower count is still reported as 476, but the deleted blog is no longer shown in my list.
WHY?
the main reason is probably due to a programming concept called caching.
when you program a computer to “cache” something, you are coding it to save the simple results of a complex operation. followers are a perfect example: to get the simple number that represents my follower account, a computer has to comb through every single on of my followers.
in real world terms, a “cache” is a hidden collection of things. computer caches are not completely dissimilar: users are not supposed to know that a cache exists. so why were we able to notice this one?
well, look at it this way. like humans, computers only have a certain amount of spoons (though programmers use terms like cycles or bandwidth).
let’s say you are Tumblr’s servers.
every day, you have 500,000,000 spoons to work with.
it takes 1 spoon to count 1 follower.
Tumblr has something upwards of 10 million users. let’s say half of them view their profile pages every day, with an average of 100 followers each.
OOPS!
that’s 500 million spoons, JUST from half of the user base loading their profile page ONCE.
what if, instead of calculating your amount of followers manually every single time, they cached it, and simply added 1 to the cached number every time someone follows you?
now, instead of taking 100 spoons every time someone hits “refresh”, it takes 0 spoons. you only have to spend 1 spoon to increment someone’s cached count when someone actually follows them.
“but Max”, you might say, “can’t you also just program it to DECREASE the follower count when someone’s blog is deleted?”
you certainly could.
“but Max”, you might ask, “that doesn’t sound very complex. why doesn’t Tumblr do that?”
well, that conclude’s today’s adventure in web development chicanery. I hope it was enjoyable, even or especially for those of you who don’t know much about computer. let me know what you think, especially if you’d be interested in reading more “DEEP DIVES” like this!
remember when dirk strider edited a pony pals book like it was the textual equivalent of a youtube poop and we saw the first couple pages in homestuck and then some fans went and finished the entire thing and it was so fucking long and surreal and meta and surprisingly well-written. did that actually happen
