My name is Claire. I am 18 years old, and I decided to shave my head.
I had a number of reasons for doing so, the main three being: Long, dark hair is just too hot for Arizona summers, I have better things to do than tame my hick, frizzy hair every morning, and I was just plain curious.
Considering this was a personal decision, I was surprised at just how much everyone, mainly completely strangers, had suddenly taken an intense interest in this choice. It’s been about a month since the initial shaving, and I’d like to share some of the most frequent comments, questions and situations I’ve encountered:
• “What happened?!”
• “Why would you shave off your beautiful hair?”
• “Don’t worry; it’ll grow back in no time.”
• “Can I touch it?” (This from people I have never met.)
• *Middle school girls pointing at me*
• “Oh but you were so pretty!”
• “Oh my god. What does your boyfriend think?” (And the girl standing next to us was very surprised to find that yes, I do have a boyfriend)
• “Wow you’re so brave.”
• “Is this some form of rebellion?”
I’ve also encountered the situation where people think I’m very sick. I made a Target run one day; I had a very bad cold, I wasn’t wearing any makeup and the sweats I was wearing were filthy. I was asked multiple times if I needed help carrying things, three people let me go ahead in line, and I heard a woman tell her children, “Don’t stare at the poor girl.” These people were all incredibly empathetic and good people for trying to help… but I don’t have cancer.
Most of the comments regarding my head were not meant to be malicious. But I think it’s pretty easy to see the problem with them. Most people cannot fathom why a teenage girl would willingly go bald. I didn’t lose my hair from a disease, I didn’t shave it for a part in a play or movie, I didn’t shave it because my mother has a disease and I’m supporting her and I didn’t shave it to make a point. I shaved my head because my hair is hot and cumbersome. That’s it.
Now, I was semi-prepared for society to view me differently, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.
I consider myself a strong, independent person who doesn’t let the opinions of others affect how I dress or perceive myself… but I have noticed a shift in my self-perception. I’ve always been a feminine person. I love dresses and bows, but since I’ve shaved my head I’ve been wearing dresses and skirts almost exclusively and I’ve been wearing more makeup than I ever have. About three weeks in I realized it was taking more time for me to get ready now than when I had hair. I started paying attention to my internal dialogue during my morning routine. I realized I had become self-conscious about my femininity and was using skirts and makeup to “prove” to the world that yes, I was still a girl. And all this had happened without my noticing. I had bought into the idea that hair somehow defines a girl… and a girl without hair must be a ‘butch lesbian’.
Which just isn’t me.