• this is my first time getting high and I’m bearing my soul and getting really deep and I haven’t noticed I’m making you cry
• we’re roommates and you sleepwalk and it’s probably the best part of my night because you say the most fucked up things
• me and your brother are faking a relationship to please your parents and I’ve fallen in love with you
• you’re in the military and you’re deploying in the morning but I’m set out to make this the best night before you leave
• you’re at the baseball game with your family but you’re wearing the opposing team’s jersey and I want to fight you but you’re really hot too so I’m conflicted
• you’re in the seat next to me on the plane and you’re reading porn and I was scandalized at first but now I’m reading along with you and you definitely noticed
• I’m a tourist and I’m lost so I come up to you to ask for directions but you’re also a tourist and also lost
• we’re next door neighbors and your family dog keeps humping my family cat and I’ve had enough of it