random aus that i just need. okay?

pumpkinstileslatte:

• you belong to a rival team, but i’m falling head first for you and i’m trying my hardest to not throw the championship game away au.
• i see you with the same person all the time and i assume you two are in a relationship so i’ll just pine for you from a distance au.
• we’ve been together for a while now and i want to have a family with you but don’t know how to approach the topic since you made it pretty clear that you dislike children au.
• we’re guildmates in an mmorpg and i’ve only ever heard your voice and i may or may not have jacked off to you just talking while i had my mic off. and now i accidentally forgot to turn it off and you heard me breathing hard moaning your name as i came on myself au.
• you’re in the air force and i’m in the marines and deeply in love you, but i’m not sure if it’s possible for us to be anything because i just got my orders and i’ll be an ocean away from you au.
• we met years ago when you helped me find my mom when i got lost in the mall and i never forgot your soft smile even after all these years au.
• i work the late shift at the bar and you recently started being a regular during the evening, always looking like a wreck and one day i finally worked up the nerve to ask if you were okay. you tell me how you have twins and the mother left and you don’t know what to do so you’re drinking your problems away au.
• you’re my tutor on a subject that i can easily ace but im only acting stupid because i really want to know how your lips taste and feel like against mine au.
• i’m a famous actor and you’re a surly but passionate personal chef that i hired because my agent wants me to eat healthier and work out to build body mass for my next role, but i can’t cook to save a life. you seem to not know me or care in the slightest but i really want to get to know you for a multitude of reasons: you’re hot like burning, your food is like orgasm in my mouth, and because you genuinely fascinate me and i want to know your story au.
• we go out for romantic dinner one night but get into a car crash and i lose five years of my memory. it’s like this for months, but you never gave up on me even when it looked like i would never get those years back. the morning after we have sex for the first time since the accident, i finally remembered au.
• i’m a criminal detective investigating a murder and you’re a suspect. you definitely look the part of a murderer.. unfortunately. it should be illegal to be that hot and menacing au.
• you and i meet at a bachelor/ette show with both of us hoping to get with, well, the bachelor/ette only to find and fall for each other au.
• i lost a bet and i am a man of my word so here i am about to get a bikini wax for the first time. i knew it was going to be painful but what i wasn’t expecting was that a really hot guy going to do the waxing and now i’m trying failing to not get a hard on au.
• i drunk dialed you one night and i think i asked you to come over to fuck me into the mattress and come on my face .. out of all the people i could have called while drunk and say those things, it just had to be the guy i had a crush on au.
• our families loathe each other because we’re competing for the best pizza restaurant title and now they asked us to get close to each other to steal the opposing family’s secret. but the thing was that we’ve been together for months so we fake a fake relationship and give our family false information au.