me: *chopping vegetables in my pristine suburban kitchen with 8 burners and marble countertops for my organic holistic dinner which i am cooking*
child: mommy?
me: what is it sweetie?
child: what is “homestuck”?
me: *hands freeze, the knife halfway through a raw carrot. my hands begin to shake, and i have to fight to keep a hold of the utensil. blood rushes in my ears, a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead* wh-where… did you learn that word..?